Here is the fifth instalment of travel jokes from Hardy Travel. I can’t take any credit for these as they have mainly been sourced via Twitter.
I hope you enjoy them.
1. Las Vegas
I phoned up to buy tickets for an Elvis tribute act.
It was an automated phone system which said:
‘Press 1 for the money / 2 for the show’
2. Hotel Reception
Two men in full armour walk into a hotel lobby.
One says, “A room for two knights please”
3. Snow & Skiing
How does a penguin build it’s house?
Igloos it together.
4. Hotel Restaurant
The waiter asked me would you like to hear today’s special?”
“Yes please,” I smiled…
“Today is special,” he replied, then walked off
5. Swimming Pool
A man climbs the diving board with a fish.
The official says: “What are you doing with that fish?”
The man replies: “Triple somersault with pike.”
6. Hotel Gym
Exercise bikes get you no where
7. Cruise Ship
I’ve been watching documentary about how they build cruise ships
It was riveting.
8. Train Journey
If you see someone doing a crossword today, lean over them and say 7 up is Lemonade!
9. Holiday Photos
My camera keeps falling off the strap
Its a bit of a loose canon
10. Hotel Garden
Just seen the hotel Gardener crying over his lawnmower
He is just going through a rough patch!
Cabin Crew said to me, sir, would you like to have dinner?
Me: What are the options?
Cabin crew: Yes or no
12. Zoo Visit
What’s a crocodiles favourite game?
Where do cows go on holiday
They like to go to MOO-YORK
My partner just asked me, can we go on a camel?”
I said, “No way ..it would take ages to get there on a camel!”
15. USA Burgers
How did the hamburger introduce his girlfriend?